Flowing

A whole lot can happen in a week. Last Monday I woke up confused and disoriented. Was I descending into a deep depression or was my consciousness screaming at me that now was the right time?? I decided to go with the flow, follow whichever path seemed most right.
I had been talking with my CBT therapist about the possibility of doing something voluntary to get me back into a routine and keep my mind active but had not yet seen a suitable position. Having tidied up my CV over the weekend to include my charitable works I threw caution to the wind and applied for a few easy part time positions. I was pleased with myself for making this small simple step.
Still in my half depressed half elated mood I got comfortable and wondered what to do with my day (either meditate or cry were the options) when my phone rang asking if I was available for interview? Err yes?
So my fate was decided and I would not linger in my funk as I was now heading into town. The position was one I’d done a thousand times and as I journeyed to my interview I was excited by how life can change in an instant. My flow lead me to spend three hours with the manager and team and I was happy to join them for a few days a week. I am still having CBT so this seemed the perfect entry back to work until we spoke money. Having met the team I liked them but knowing it was a low wage caused problems. On such paltry pay I would be faced with feeling totally undervalued and worthless.
My flow stopped as I faced a fork in the road.
My journey home was unlike my journey in as I felt low, where was my ‘flow’??
I got home and decided to check my email, something I rarely do in the evening and there was another position sitting patiently for me. My flow was not stagnating it was still moving. I replied and could not believe it when they responded at nearly eight pm asking if I could come in the next day to interview? I confirmed quickly and just like that I was moving again.
The rest of the story is easy; my flow took me to head office where I got the position, found more interesting and inspiring people and now feel fantastic.
My flow has not stopped moving in the right direction and I doubt it will
I have been down low for two years and now I can see the sun. Yes the depression still tries to cut me off from the world but there is always a flow to follow right back to sanity
Love & Light xx

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