In the brouhaha of August I somehow lost a journal of my writing. This journal I had doubled up as my work notepad and my daily musings, this was a special blend of writing which showed how seriously I took my work and how I had started to incorporate meditation into my daily routine. At first I refused to believe that it was actually gone, I was under so much stress in my new job and had little time to properly search for it that I convinced myself that it would turn up randomly.
As I practiced my meditations I clearly began to notice the universe working with me everyday yet despite this I could still not find my journal. I focused my thinking on its location. I asked my guides to reveal its location. I got out of bed at 2am to look for it. And then I stopped and wondered if there was a lesson in its disappearance.
I have never lost a journal before. My writing moves with me, it has a special box in which it is stored and I always tell myself that next year is the year I will transcribe the story of my life.
The time is now.
Ask me anything about my life and I will tell you openly and honestly. I am not ashamed. I have lived my life; sometimes perfectly sometimes not. I learnt by living.
I am desperately sad that I cannot find my journal. This journal has helped me over the last few months as countless others have in the past. This one has shown me the truth. This one has helped mould me quicker than any before it.
This year I have loved and lost. I have returned to work and know it is not for me, that I will never progress, that I cannot play the game and win. This year I embraced the spiritual side of life and know it holds far more wonderment than the illusion of life. This year I gave everything I had as I stepped into the unknown and found it was better than the known.
My little hardback black journal return to me please i miss you. My little hardback black journal Thank You. My little hardback black journal I understand that you were my attempt to balance work and pleasure and that now the time is simply to work for pleasure.