Smiling through it

The Consultant is faced with a devastating problem that he himself caused. My medical record is missing several important test results and scans. In 2013 the consultant failed to place onto the electronic record that he had lasered endometriosis from around my womb. This confused the General Practitioners who sent me to the Endocrinologist who diagnosed me as having premature ovarian failure and started me on Hormone Replacement Therapy. A different set of test made there way to the General Practitioners before the endocrine ones and a decision was made NOT to start me on HRT apparently as my hormones on this test were contrary.

 I bounced back and forth for another year taking this and that then trying something else. 

The consultant sits across from me and I tell him calmly that this is his fault. He has wasted years of my life, years of treatment I could have had, wasted money, nearly ending my life…

He apologises. I smile through my tears. What does it matter now? 

We work out a plan to determine if endocrine are right that my ovaries have shut down and the pain I experience is from my brain or that I continue to grow abnormally each month on and around my ovaries. I have no idea. I agree to further testing, poking and prodding. I smile through it, like I always do, even though it hurts me more than anything else. I smile on through.

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