In the moment of change 

They mean well when they say you will ‘get through it’ or ‘one day you’ll look back and…’. Their pragmatic positivity is infuriating. I can hear you cursing inwards, rolling your eyes or perhaps holding back the tears. I know for I have been there too. 

There was once a time when I could not imagine today nor any day in 2016. Life was painful. I was having an almost non-existent life with a lack of fulfilling experience in the darkness. My dreams were far far away from me. Happiness was… where was happiness? Life was something that happened to me and not something I controlled as I had long relinquished my control to theDoctors and specialists who prodded and poked me.  

Who is better qualified in matters concerning my health?  (Or yours) It began as a medical concern then there were whispers of cancer and then suspicions of mental illness. For years someone spoke and I listened. Someone told me what was wrong but they were unable to help me so passed me on to someone else who would say the same. Soon everyone had an opinion. It became clear that the further down I went the further I was from healing myself. There were rounds of drug trials, bouts of general therapy, non specific literature and a lack of real help or support. My suggestions were always sceptically met or dismissed. 

You will get through it 

How? 

One day you will look back and …. 

What? …. Laugh/Cry? …. The urge to be sarcastic cannot be repressed here and I urge you to let it out! Tell it how it is! Say it for what it’s worth as then and only then will you be in a moment of change.

What has been said is said and can never be undone.

The change you want to see in your life starts with you.

Sometimes when it seems that life is at its most ridiculous then the clear obvious truth shines out of the absurd. The moment of change is now. Get up out of bed because the answer to why is why not! Why me, why someone else!

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