What Happiness Feels Like

I am poolside with a glass on San Miguel. Tonight I will begin the brouhaha that happens each year of my life, sometime twice, occasionally thrice.

 My trip began with a soft opening, a trip to the north east where families and aged hippies enjoy a quieter pace of life. I go four star all inclusive and enjoy my solo status. It is a far cry from the reputable party island, no one would know, maybe there is no place quite like this. We all greet each other at breakfast and tea, children smile, old men nod, women eye me suspiciously. 

I take a ferry to Formentera, a quick stop on a nudist beach but that is as risqué as it gets. I leave my bottoms on … spend the rest of the day travelling around taking photos. Soon my time is up and it’s time to head west to San Antonio to really get naked and let my soul loose.

I have not experienced much anxiety since arriving, I got panicky over two zigzags of Chem Trails but what can I do? Maybe it’s not even real? What do islanders think about such things – who knows? My other problems, the seemingly real ones, the ones that keep me up at night have all but left me. Here I am not single; I am a solo confident, arse-kicking traveller who writes, paints and lives life … 

Tonight I will head to Elrow, Spain’s fiesta night from Barcelona. It’s one of my favourite club nights that ever existed, it’s better than kinky gurlinky and if offered a night at studio 54 or Elrow .., well I’d really have to think about it! Elrow is totally me – see older posts (can’t be arsed to hyperlink lol) and soon I will head inside to commence painting myself with the theme – Summer of Love 🌼🌺🌸🌺🌼 expect loads of flowers and glitter – my inner child is happier than ever! (Head over to goldglittergirl.wordpress.com for photographic evidence) I am truly alive! My happiness is right here and yes I know that life is not an Ibizan summer so I will continue to try to find balance between here and the U.K.

I become increasingly aware that I struggle so much at home and not so much here. I have no idea how my life will turn out but for now I take solace in the respite from anxiety, depression, mind spaghetti and listlessness. I will relish in what MY happiness feels like, what life is like when I am free to be me. People like me here, I like me here, I am inspired and inspiring.

For the next while I will eat, sleep, rave and repeat. I have already travelled somewhere new, met interesting people, met up with my Ibizan friends, written, painted, blogged and taken each day as it came. I thank each and every one of you who read my blog whilst I am low and struggling, who read about my writing issues without ever read much of my writing, for those who comment and press like and most importantly for those of you who resonate with anything I say and take a little comfort. Today I am happy and I wish to share that with you too 


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