Outdoors Albert and other stray cat stories

Albert wakes me up a few minutes before six am. I hear him scratching around the litter box in my sleep. I wake up to this incessant activity every morning and I know it is now time for Albert to experience outside.

I had wanted Albert the minute I saw him. A black and white fluffy ball beside his three tabby sisters. He had sad little mummy missing eyes, a scrawny, underfed frame and a hung-back, withdrawn seriousness that I later learnt to be anxiety.

Albert cried the whole way home. ‘Oh Albee cat!’ I would exclaim and scoop him up. Albert cried for food ‘oh Albee, poor Albee!’ Albert cried to be stroked, to be let in the bathroom and onto my bed until I learnt that Albert was a conniving attention seeking cat.

Albert’s mistake was to think he could be the boss of me but as his balls got bigger my tolerance of his naughty behaviour shrank. One morning woken abruptly from a dream I picked Albert up by the scruff of his neck and threw him outside. He looked up at me from the window with contempt then ran off. He returned an hour later, walking in unapologetically and heading straight for the food bowl.

I put him out every morning now. He returns to entangle himself around my ankles and with kisses on my nose. Albee cat is now Outdoors Albert, we no longer fight or disagree in the mornings, he is a grown up cat now.

The Female Top Cat

TFTC is a fighting cat
ready to brawl.
She thinks
she is queen
of the dustbins
pride protector
the mummy
of us all.
TFTC is always
that she
is right
but, really
she’s not.
TFTC got into
but the rest of us
and told her
shut up.
It is quiet around
the dustbins
Another altercation
on Saturday
TFTC learns

Robert the Celtic Cat
Bob is a beautiful blue eyed cat from somewhere far from here,
I see him on the corner and occasionally on the stairs.
Bob is such a clever cat, too clever for me
Bob is refined and dignified (although he is known to have fleas)
Bob comes by twice a week, he brings me a mouse
I wish that Bob could stay for tea, or make this his house.
Bob is warm and gentle, strong and loving
Bob is methodical and routined; I know when he is coming
I long for a day to spend with Bob, I know I deeply desire it,
for what more could I want then his companionship

šŸˆ To all the cool cats in my life šŸˆ

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