I woke up again after a couple of hours sleep, this time at 02.10am. It’s 09.09 and I awake for the third time with a life halting pain. All three alarms were silenced and I sit up blarey-eyed wondering why I feel so run down? I had three dreams, well I had more but you know a few were the old brain junk. I dreamt of my best friend CC, that dream was a blend of London and Ireland and I kept getting confused as one hotel morphed into the other and Dublin streets became London. I remember telling CC to throw her bags anywhere as I just wanted to spend some time with her. We jumped into a taxi and sat side by side giggling on a leather sofa in a nightclub whilst laser lights lit up the room.
In the next dream I gave legal advice to a young Muslim boy called Isham. He worked in a factory and had been accused of littering, of throwing a cigarette on the floor, when in fact he had bent down to pick it up. I was not a lawyer, I was his coworker. I had worked in a few similar places so I advised this well mannered young man to apply for another factory I knew were hiring. This dream brought me back to my recruitment days when I saw potential in others and helped them move up the career ladder.
The dream swirled and time moved forward. I’m thinking either my alarms were going off or this was when I woke up to find I’d left my bedroom door open after the second time awake and had two cats laying on my sleeping torso. I shooed the cats out and went back to sleep and then it was Christmas in the dream so I’m thinking this is between 4am and 7am, anyway, I knew I were dreaming.
Isham was working in the new factory and doing great and I was enquiring at a shopping centre if I could open a pop up shop. I kinda lightbulbed in the dream as I were stood in front of the shopping centre manager, a messy haired frumpy middle manager in a cheap suit when I went inside my head and constructed what my ideal shop would look like. I don’t usually ‘think’ whilst dreaming so I began talking to myself and exclaiming what a fabulous idea that would be. The centre manager liked the idea and suggested I meet the manager of a concept store that had recently opened. So I began walking. As I walked the centre morphed between Bluewater, Westfield’s and a Dublin mall.
The store was a cross between an American diner and a bubble tea kiosk. It looked cool but the stores concept was confusing. It was busy due to Christmas but I could see most people were waiting and only drinking tap water. A non interested young man sat watching MTV at the back. I approached him and asked for the manager and he replied no one was due in. I asked him a few more questions but left him to look at the menu. The weird bar served alchemical cocktails, you know the ones that smoke up? I wandered around, I was mistaken for a server so I began chatting to a group of girls and talked them into trying a cauldron of smoking cocktail in exchange for me changing the channel to ’80s pop music. When I slapped the order down in front of the young man he looked at me incredulously and asked me why I had taken the order. I told him that was what he was supposed to be doing, I told him to go and flirt with the customers, get the freeloaders out and play some decent music!
I stayed with him during his shift until the end taking orders and chatting to his clients. As he counted the money in the till he shook his head at me in surprise. ‘This is the most we’ve ever taken’ I smiled and I said to myself ‘you’re soooo good, you can do anything’ and that’s when I woke up.
I’m not really dreaming. I’m going back and showing myself all the brilliant skills I have, things I’ve done before. Instead of sinking into the fear that I soon will be unemployed I’m showing myself positive re-enactments of situations. Hmmm? I’m not so sure. They were only dreams.
Today is Wednesday. I’m in pain and I’m starting to get stressed. I’m tired. I think maybe I shouldn’t be running around all night in my dreams helping others but then I think of the pop up shop. I remember my dream shop and I’m happy. It was filled with twisted sky high vines and flowers, it had all my paints and crafts and books and papers and sparkly pens. It was a very happy place.
I don’t know why I’m waking up several times through the night or why I know I am not dreaming in my dreams but something is definitely happening and I feel like I’m transitioning.