At the start of the week I feel drained and depressed. The Aquarian full moon energy was too strong, entering abruptly (as Aquarians do) with its truth. On Monday as the moon hit its fullest, I had a disagreement with Fido on the phone and went on to have the following dreams:
It begins with about six dreams. Two were about reiki and energy transference; two were centred around rectifying a problem I had and two where I frantically and desperately tried to go somewhere. During one of them I wake up shouting and scared.
In the second or third dream of the night, an old man with a white beard and gaps in his teeth shouted a curse at me. I tried as best I could to block out his energy but the curse entered my ear and I felt it travel down into my body. Heavy and sick I gathered as much energy as I could, running around trying to rid myself of the negative energy. Then I woke up shouting; it was 04.55. I was scared to be awake, scared to return to sleep. I meditated and listened to podcasts the entire day. My dreams make no sense to me anymore. Absolutely nothing happens during my waking days yet I am on some light working mission during the nights to rid the dream-space of negativity and generate love.
It has taken me all week to understand what these dreams meant until this morning. Part of me was still terrified and I wondered if I really could have been cursed. As I have written before, you hold the key to understanding your dreams and I now know that my efforts in the dream space have not gone unnoticed. Today I boldly go forward confident in my dreaming ability. I hope you enjoy this post.
The dreams had started well. I had been in the park with Black Jack teaching him how to send energy from our surroundings, up and out into the world. We sat facing each other cross legged, palms facing. We sat in meditation, Black Jack still, calm and powerful, matching my energy. The park glowed brightly in the sunshine. Everything was beautiful, the green grass, the swaying leaves from the trees, we were one with nature. Everything was perfect Love. The white haired man accosted me as I walked home and into the next dream.
The old man comes up aggressively. I feel his energy and avoid him. He waves frantically making sigils (magical signs) in the air before ripping a chickens head off and throwing it at me. He gets closer and closer, mumbling, rambling incoherent words until he is almost pinning me down. I called out for Black Jack who is now long gone. The angry face is close to mine. I have to defend myself so I put my hands above me, palms out and manage to block some of the curse. Hexed and barely able to move I set about on a mission to find Jack so he can lift the curse.
I wander into a lido. Time is reminiscent of the late eighties. I see SK. I ask him to help but he cannot. I find some other people who also cannot help. I find a woman who may know where Black Jack is. I beg her to help me lift the curse but first I must apologise for something I did in my past. I have to beg and plead and convince her that I need Jack and he is the only one who could help.
Preeti arrives between dreams. She tells me I can drive her car and look for him but I cannot drive in the dreamland so we almost crash into the curb. I get out. I run shouting for Black Jack. In the next dream young woman, seeing me frantic agrees to help me and together we chant Love over and over and until I feel myself expanding and I explode into pieces. I rid myself of the curse without Black Jack. I did not need him, I could do it on my own, I just had not realized it.
~ This was a mammoth dream sequence but so symbolic now the lightbulb has illuminated my mind. The first part is easy as Jack has spoken to me about learning Reiki. The second and most important is an old trauma reimagined. I was attacked in ’99 and I believe the old man is the energy of the young boys who did it. My trauma is old and ‘gappy’ and it hangs in the back of my subconscious but really it cannot hurt me anymore. Yes I have CPTSD but the ‘curse’ is leaving as I work to rid myself of it; not by finding a partner (running around desperate for a man to help me) but with my therapist and learning to see my own abilities, the second woman is Helen. I figured this out early Friday morning and as I realised I saw the true power of my dreams and how they help me more than simply being little stories in which to tell you. Thank you as ever for reading along. With love & light ~