There was a man in my bed last night, I’m convinced of it. I had climbed to the top of a mountain, there was a train station up there. One of those crazy train lines that travel above an arched viaduct. Everything was lush and green. Perhaps it were New Zealand or county Kerry, or perhaps it’s was were the Hobbits live, I don’t know; it was just so beautiful.
I met him there. This tall Irish guy with rugger bugger thighs! I tried to play it cool. We walked beside each other to a pub that appeared out of nowhere. We sat outside in the sunshine drinking cider, the cloudy kind.
My friend has a shop nearby so I pop in. The tall Irish guy has followed me and I find him in the unit next door. He asks me to do something for him and I agree. As I do I touch his knee. He sits beside me and then my hand is on his thick thigh. We’re just talking about normal stuff but I know we are flirting. He’s asking me about living in Ireland and I ask him about playing rugby. The conversation is one of the easiest I’ve had all year.
His accent is melodic. I start to really relax. I’m delighted at how smoothly the conversation is, how naturally everything is going. I’m not anxious, nervous or awkward.
Suddenly I look down at my hand. It’s still on his thigh. He’s looking straight at me and I become hyper aware that he knows. We both look at each other and he leans towards me and I know for sure I’m going to kiss him and … Nothing! I wake up with my hand on a bolster pillow.
As I blink my eyes open I’m sure he’s here. I can feel him behind me. I’m snuggled into his warm body and there’s definitely something behind me … I turn snd all I see are pillows, all seven of them cradling me. Aaaghhh these pillows! I bought them so I wouldn’t be so alone in bed but now they’re duping me into thinking someone is with me!!
On my way back from the loo I send a wish out to meet him again. That was the most calm I’ve ever been in my life and I want to continue our conversation. And then I remember Neo. He was the only person I did not fall in love with straight away. I did not even know I was in love with him until it hit me in the face over a year later. We had the BEST conversations or we could have had if other things had not been in our way. I get back into bed and try not to think about him and will the Irish rugby guy back into my thoughts. It doesn’t happen. Neo had great thighs (and chest, and arms, and smile). I try to focus but I know every inch of Neo’s body and now that’s all I can think of.
Then the alarm goes off and dream Irish rugby guy is gone forever. Fuck! I was so close. That guy and his thigh disappears. I didn’t catch his name but I guess it was just a dream. Neo is real. I get up and out of bed and try not to remember that he is waking up somewhere, out there, without me.