I ask for duloxetine. I know I will be anxious whilst I wait for the biopsy and results and I need something for the pain. I remember this worked for me once before. They do not question me but put me on a low dose.
For the first few weeks I am sleepy, spaced out and unable to work. It is all too much so the day after the biopsy I begin eating painkillers as I curl up in agony.
I wake up at 3am and again at 4. I mumble through clenched teeth in my sleep and call out for help. I wake up crying. I feel like dying.
I refuse to go back the place where I’ve already been; I’ll never go down there again. I ask for help. I need help. I need new meds or an answer. I need help.