Invisible Illness #1

Fed up with misdiagnosing myself, I’ll call this series of posts invisible illness as the truth is, that is what I have. It’s been seven years since I started this blog not knowing what was wrong and over a decade since I was admitted to hospital and investigations began. I think it’s fair to say no one cares. I’m infertile; I have no eggs, no period, no chance of conceiving but, I have all the pains.

I’ve had cysts, endometriosis, a fibroid, a hernia, a tilted pelvis and a thickened endometrium that caused overstimulated pelvic floor muscles and most recently adenomyosis.

I once thought I was in the most pain I had ever experienced which is probably true as endometriosis is excruciating, but, currently my cystic endometrium has caused me to wake from sleep bawling in pain, with the added anxiety of having to rise in a few hours for work. It is so painful that I feel nauseous. It is a completely different feeling to the searing, slicing, lightening striking stabs of Endo. Adenomyosis is a radiating dull and heavily downward pulling ache that doesn’t go away.

Daily I struggle with how to control the pain. Offered no real solution or pain management I take codeines and ibuprofen with a mild anti-anxiety med for my overstimulated bladder and pelvic floor. Yesterday I was bed ridden all morning. 1000mgs of ibuprofen, 30mgs of codeine, 500mgs of paracetamol, all taken just to get out of bed. I join groups. The woman say the same thing; that there is no help and You’re lucky if you get a good Gynaecologist who will put you on the urgent list.

I’m offered a mirena coil, horrible synthetic hormones. Over the eleven years of dealing with an invisible Illness I know that my body does not respond well to heavy meds or hormones. I value my mental health and refuse to let it deteriorate. I stand up for myself. I know what I experience daily and what I have experienced over the decades; I know what is best for me.

Hopefully I will get a speedy resolution, the one I’ve waited all these years for, something that allows me to finally move on with my life. I won’t hold my breath. Alright, I won’t be pessimistic. Let’s see shall we?

Until next time, thank you for staying with me

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