It’s 23:23, I’m awake and need to communicate. Two years ago today I was with my Irish best friend in a hotel, having spent the day at a festival, our delightful annual treat. I would tell her how much I loved her, how much I missed her and we would smile as we fell asleep, remembering the fun of past years and adding to our memories. Last year that did not happen and this year the same, but tomorrow I go to that festival with someone new. Not a replacement, simply a sign that things have changed for good.
In February 2020 my Irish best friend and her daughter shared a room with me on the beautiful exotic island of Jamaica. Our time together was magical and something we will never forget. I was single and alone, unsure of my life but my Irish best friend, my love and support through the years told me she knew my life would change. She knew, because that’s how life is.
My Irish best friend’s life changed dramatically when she fell pregnant, just as mine did when I found out I was infertile, but here we were, surviving, confident and strong, and most importantly, successful. We were still the girls who met over a decade ago and our relentless support for each other would never diminish. I moved and fell apart, she grew stronger and realised how powerful she was. We became the type of friends who are always there for each other, even if our lives are busy. This weekend is our weekend, but we are not together. Soon we will be. With my Irish best friend I had one amazing weekend a year, with someone who really knew me, with someone who loved me. Now perhaps we can have a different kind of annual meeting to reflect our growth and responsibilities.
I was alone for years without anyone to do anything with and my best friend was there. Now I have someone but it is not the same. I thank my Irish best friend so much for her love and support through the years – I often wonder where I would be without it?
This year is probably the last bank holiday I spend in a field dancing, so tomorrow I will raise a glass to my beautiful, inspiring friend – I miss her more than words can express and thank her for the love.
For Caroline forever & always x