The moon is looking at me in it’s waning gibbous state. I eyeball it suspiciously as have given my last six weeks to humanitarian causes, but, I am feeling different tonight, I want to enjoy myself.
For weeks I have dealt with the lives of others, working long hours and volunteering on my days off. I talk non-stop on safety, health and well-being, yet completely neglecting my own.
Desperate for a change at work I was delighted to be selected to assist on a small team working to avoid a media crisis but it quickly got out of hand. There are only so many hours in the day, there is only so much I can do. I quickly burnt out.
I could see the lack of strategy within the emergency programme and mentioned it to my manager but it went nowhere. Caught up in the (procedure-less) chaos I felt deflated. I was giving everything but couldn’t join up our processes. During one busy day, between meetings, I interviewed for a new role in HR – workforce planning and then forgot all about it until I received a random call at 4pm Friday. ‘Hello’ said the man from HR. ‘You were the strongest candidate by far, you have the job!’
‘Oh!’ I say. I sit shocked, confused and grateful. It doesn’t sink in. My life is only about the crisis but after the ‘crisis’ dies down I will be returned to my normal posting; but not now. Now I have secured a new role!
I have neglected many things over the last weeks and I hadn’t realised how exhausted I was, so when I woke up this morning thinking about the crisis I decide to go back to bed. In the afternoon, when I was ready, I got the boys dressed and visited my sister. I fully relaxed. I’m up celebrating after hours as it’s finally sunk in. I am good at what I do, I can help others and help myself get to where I always wanted to be.
Outside my window the moon in the last degrees of Aquarius moves away, out of sight. Aquarius is about community, compassion and working together. It’s also zany and fun. I sip Prosecco knowing the work I have put in so far and where I want to go. This weekend I will let loose and have fun. I will forget about work, where I am valued and secure. On Monday I can plan for my future. I know what I have to do, I have seen my strengths and areas for improvement, I can work on these. I endeavour to assist on the emergency programme until October but after October I need to focus on me, on my life and my life purpose which is closer than ever before.
I am so proud of myself. I knew I could do this. I bring a mix of strategic planning, experience and inclusivity to my work. My new role will teach me how to define my communications, prove my worth and balance my time. This will be seen in both my working career and my new life as a step mother and provider.
The Aquarius moon is happy. I receive and I give back. I remember when I came from and change the pathways for others behind me.
The moon has moved on now, it’s after 1am. To the moon I am grateful. Over the years it has taught me how to align my life to energies, to find meaning in cyclical rhythms, to let go of what does not serve me and manifest my hopes and dreams. I thank the moon as I stand in hopes from long ago; of dreams coming true.
With love & light my friends x