05:05 Ready for my Next Steps

My Nan Marga dies and I wake in the middle of the night thinking of her and her legacy. She had nine children, one miscarriage and gave a secret child away. Marga gave the only-days-old baby to a woman who was infertile and that means something to me, although I am not quite sure what exactly. Marga had a full and lively life, bringing her children across the water to the UK, working tirelessly to support them and standing up in the face of racism and prejudice. Marga also had to defend herself from the scandal and web of confusion that surrounded her, causing much conflict and pain.

Unable to sleep I think about my BIG interview and how fortunate I have been. I thank God. I ask him to look after Marga and bless our family with conflict resolution on the day of the funeral. I think about the interview and how proud Marga would be. I can feel her presence and I remember her always asking when I would be giving her ‘a piece of cake‘. I had no idea what she was talking about but it was her way of asking when I would get married. Oh Marga, soon I hope.

I think back to my days chopping onions, Daag Masala, my life on simmer. Marga could not understand why I was infertile, few can. She told me to ‘marry a hand holder’ believing everything would be ok with Love. In ways I guess she is right. Something of Marga’s passing tells me I am ready for my next steps so I open my laptop at 05:05 (I did not plan the numbers, I never do but take it as a sign)and begin my interview prep. I feel confident and proud of myself; a descendant of Marga.

~ This interview will truly be dedicated to my friends and family, those with us and those who look down on us ~

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