The Moon in the last degrees of Aquarius

The moon is looking at me in it’s waning gibbous state. I eyeball it suspiciously as have given my last six weeks to humanitarian causes, but, I am feeling different tonight, I want to enjoy myself. For weeks I have dealt with the lives of others, working long hours and volunteering on my days off.…

The Bank Holiday Weekend

It’s 23:23, I’m awake and need to communicate. Two years ago today I was with my Irish best friend in a hotel, having spent the day at a festival, our delightful annual treat. I would tell her how much I loved her, how much I missed her and we would smile as we fell asleep,…

Awake at 4am

Not ‘kinda awake’ but fully awake at 4am I begin to search for reasons why. Over the last several months work has been boring, uninspiring and monotonous, so I applied for a secondment and I was sky rocketed back into my needs, wants and desires. Over the last two weeks excitement has propelled me forward…

An Arty Farty Idea Revisited

In May 2017 I excitedly wrote that I had an idea I wanted to try out. Four years later, the idea remains as does a crippling fear that I cannot make it happen. In the last post I claim to make art that made me happy, but, the truth is, I am searching for something…

Roses & Abstract BodyArt

I dream I am setting up at a summer fete. we have a pitch that is quite far from the main attractions, slightly overgrown and weedy. It is both inside a shed and the open space in front – it is like a weird allotment space. My Dad starts to tell me where things should…

The dream with the citrine quartz

I am dreaming something miserable. I am walking alone, bereft, depressed in a grey world. I board a bus, it is going towards London. I see a snowflake from the window and as the bus turns a corner, glassy bright Christmas market lights. It is late but I alight and head to Fenwicks before it…

Invisible Illness #3

I took Diazepam for the first time in a few months. I had been sitting staring at my laptop with my head in my hands since I opened it at 07.30. I was feeling completely lost and unable to cope when I asked myself, why must I struggle? Last night I watched a documentary on…

The dream with the uni papers

For the second night in a row I dream about being at university. I have been heard loudly expressing my desires to gain a PhD or MPhil and download the digital prospectus from Goldsmiths University. My desires are not without their concerns. On Sunday, I dream that I am trapped in a labyrinth of dark,…