The dream with the affair before dinner

It’s 04:24, I’m blogging each time I wake to tell you my tiresome dreams. Here’s tonight’s second instalment: I’m a nanny. I’m looking after a teenage girl and a little boy. The Dad likes me. I’m not sure if we’ve started or well into an affair but we brush past each other and make weird…

The dream with the horrible foot soldiers

I’m not sure I can go back to sleep. Having spent the last couple of hours asleep and dreaming I am battling evil super soldiers who do not get hurt. I’m done. I can feel them, their robotic hands around my neck, the blackness of everything. I’m terrified. It was almost futuristic, the horrible dreams…

The dreams with the horrible pie-making contest

Warning: Contains horrible nightmarish scenes and lots of confused ramblings Every night for weeks it’s been bad dream after bad dream and when I say bad dream, I mean dreams, plural. My broken sleep pattern still enables me to have multiple dreams each night. They are the absolute WORST dreams I have experienced in years.…

The dreams in the horrible lost city

I hate this place. Over the years I’ve been brought here several times and it’s eerie silence scares me. On reflection it’s simply a derelict city full of giant buildings and marble carved statues. Once I walked along a white marble road. I was high up and could only see the skyline; sand to the…

The New Meds

I ask for duloxetine. I know I will be anxious whilst I wait for the biopsy and results and I need something for the pain. I remember this worked for me once before. They do not question me but put me on a low dose. For the first few weeks I am sleepy, spaced out…

Past my bedtime

I have a panic attack at six am. I’ve been up for hours and I cannot find answers to my problems. It’s way past my bedtime. Every day the same through the hours. Watching time slowly slips away, into a new day. Over tired, wired. I no longer care and collapse into a ball sobbing;…

Full Moon Blessings 03.21

Full moon blessings to you my friend. I feel curious and restless as I welcome a new day. I feel as though things are changing and I am so close to my new life. I hope to heal my body at the midway point if my year and pray the next six months bring me…

The dream with the wrong shoes

I’m on the monorail slowly heading around the London skyline. I’m dressed up and with my lover, his best friend and his girlfriend. We are smiley and happy as we look out at the setting sun. It is warm outside. I’m in a very fancy, very expensive designer dress and I’m cautious of not scuffing…

Two Biopsies, Two Weeks Off

I go to sleep without taking pain relief and I am woken a few hours later. I writhe around a little before succumbing and swallowing 30mgs of codeine. It’ll knock me out soon so I’ll let you know what’s been going on. I’ve been in increasing pain all year. A cyst has been growing on…

Lots of frustrating dreams

I became instantly depressed after an emergency biopsy on Thursday, my fourth one in almost ten years. I feel lost, alone, unheard, pathetic, disregarded; broken. Bed-bound I sleep and sleep and sleep. Morpheus visits me. I cannot make sense of the drug-addled riddles until this morning . I dream I am travelling by boat, no,…