Fem Friendly Supplements (post 10/103)

In 2015 I took a trip to a health food store to purchase supplements to increase my mood. I bought the usual female friendlies: Evening Primrose, Safflower, B Complex, Black Cohosh, St Johns Wort and some Magnesium and Zinc. I also took a daily dose of Floradix a natural iron supplement. The B Vitamins, Safflower…

Sharp September Pencils

I sank half a bottle of wine last night when I should’ve taken a sedative and I’ve woken up anxious. It’s all getting too much for me. My birthday looms and I’m hit with a sudden insecurity as my nephew returns to school and for the first September in my life I am (still) unemployed.…

More blood tests

The new Gynae wants to know where I am with my menopause so I’m off to have a blood test. I don’t mind the test. It is much needed. I may be sad later as I casually rip the plaster off and toss it into the bin without remark. When there is no one to…

Umbilicus Update #14.3

No matter how hard I try to forget about the past or busy myself with fun things August is always the shittiest month of the year. I start so well. The sun shines, the dresses and the heels come out and I sip gin in beer gardens. I don’t think about it, it just happens.…

Bring on the trumpets! (61/103)

I am crying on the station platform. I am off to have another pointless appointment at hospital. As always I am alone and there is no one to hold my hand or tell me everything will be ok. I will sit in the Oncology waiting room with the other women who have mysterious cells and…

Black Jack’s Black Cat

The best parts of my character diminish before your very eyes the minute I talk about feelings. For all my intelligence, logic, rationale and reasoning I lose credibility within the first few sentences as no one and I mean no one likes to talk about feelings. I did not understand this phenomena until I discovered…

For Celery I am Grateful

I’m home about a month now and slowly I’ve changed my apartment around. It’s gone from functional home for me and the cats to bright, airy, modern workspace for a single girl. I’ve had a fortunate, wonderful, yet memorable lockdown. The cats departure aside, I’ve overcome insomnia, spent time in my family love-bubble and had…