It happens again, right before I fly off for my birthday vacation. Is it stress, pulling weeds or an extremely traumatised immune system? Filled with infection I struggle to sleep. The last eight weeks have been rough, I’ve barely worked. An excruciating pang is felt when I bend or sit or turn my body. It…
On my third set of antibiotics my open wound finally closes – yes, it’s been open this whole time! Later today i am having a scan. I have a painful lump, bottom right of my umbilicus. It’s the same lump I’ve had before, is it a hernia, a cyst or a fibroid? Whatever it is,…
I recently have become a gardener. Over two weeks I carry heavy bags of compost, lift ceramic pots and bend to water my flowers. It aggravates my hernia. Last year, after rushing me into oncology for biopsies it was determined that I did not have endometriosis but large cysts which had burst. Unamused I moved…
I have a terrible weekend. I am in excruciating pain and the boys are here. On Friday I walk out of the house. I sit in the park wondering what the point of my life is whilst it escapes me that there are two little boys and a man only yards away who want and…
Things have not been the same since I had that blogging break. Lockdown loneliness got to me; boredom, poverty and the anxiety of waiting to start my new job. I was fed up of being single and was still dealing with mystery pains. It is now 2021 and my life has turned completely around in…
I’m sat in a medical centre for the treatment of Hernia’s. Maybe this is the end of Undiagnosis? ~ written 29th December 2020 ~
The new Gynae wants to know where I am with my menopause so I’m off to have a blood test. I don’t mind the test. It is much needed. I may be sad later as I casually rip the plaster off and toss it into the bin without remark. When there is no one to…
No matter how hard I try to forget about the past or busy myself with fun things August is always the shittiest month of the year. I start so well. The sun shines, the dresses and the heels come out and I sip gin in beer gardens. I don’t think about it, it just happens.…
August has not been kind to me, it never is. My umbilicus has ruptured three times this month and my mood dipped around the anniversary of my hospitalisation. I wake up at 3am; my body on FIRE, drenched in sweat and tangled in soaked blankets. In the mornings I feel dizzy, disorientated and hot, often…
I tried to pretend it wasn’t happening and in a way it isn’t, as it is different from all the other times. It began at the start of the week when I could feel a slight stickiness and then a scent that forced me to bathe three times in one day. By midweek I’d felt…
Fem Feelings 