When I’m feeling low and the moon is dark I stay awake through the early hours, turbulently tossing thoughts around in much the same way as I have all of the previous years. My home life remains stable and pleasant, I am very much in love; yet I crave connection, purpose and fulfilment at work.…
Not ‘kinda awake’ but fully awake at 4am I begin to search for reasons why. Over the last several months work has been boring, uninspiring and monotonous, so I applied for a secondment and I was sky rocketed back into my needs, wants and desires. Over the last two weeks excitement has propelled me forward…
It is 04.30 and I woke up in pain. My horrible dream leaves me as I forget it instantly which is perfectly ok with me. They are mostly horrible dreams these days now anyway. It got so bad last month that I began crying every night before bed. Imagine! Me, the daughter of Somnus and…
Warning: Contains horrible nightmarish scenes and lots of confused ramblings Every night for weeks it’s been bad dream after bad dream and when I say bad dream, I mean dreams, plural. My broken sleep pattern still enables me to have multiple dreams each night. They are the absolute WORST dreams I have experienced in years.…
I have a panic attack at six am. I’ve been up for hours and I cannot find answers to my problems. It’s way past my bedtime. Every day the same through the hours. Watching time slowly slips away, into a new day. Over tired, wired. I no longer care and collapse into a ball sobbing;…
Things have not been the same since I had that blogging break. Lockdown loneliness got to me; boredom, poverty and the anxiety of waiting to start my new job. I was fed up of being single and was still dealing with mystery pains. It is now 2021 and my life has turned completely around in…
Over the last few weeks, during a period of intense happiness, I dream that SK’s Father and my first boyfriend die. I dream I am kidnapped twice, trapped in buildings, and I also dream that I kiss a boy I once sat next to in school, who repulsed me as he had terrible halitosis. Disturbing…
I wake up around 3am with a smile on my face. Life is good. I am super busy at work, I continue with my volunteering and moving home gives me new domestic chores to focus on. I have never been happier but yesterday proved that I am no Wonder Woman as I attempted to cook,…
On Monday I moved into the cottage. The timing could not have been better as simultaneously the Prime Minister announced the third national lockdown, however, Michelangelo and I had decided to become each other’s support bubble after our Christmas plans were cancelled due to the new strain of Corona virus (Covid 20?) My confidence has…
I meet this amazing man, a seemingly perfect man. He is kind and sweet and funny and super intelligent. We begin slow, getting to know each other through our shared interests. We have so much to talk about that romance or dating is never mentioned. I wonder if he likes me, then dismiss the thought,…
Fem Feelings 