Invisible Illness #2

It is 04.30 and I woke up in pain. My horrible dream leaves me as I forget it instantly which is perfectly ok with me. They are mostly horrible dreams these days now anyway. It got so bad last month that I began crying every night before bed. Imagine! Me, the daughter of Somnus and…

The dreams with the horrible pie-making contest

Warning: Contains horrible nightmarish scenes and lots of confused ramblings Every night for weeks it’s been bad dream after bad dream and when I say bad dream, I mean dreams, plural. My broken sleep pattern still enables me to have multiple dreams each night. They are the absolute WORST dreams I have experienced in years.…

Past my bedtime

I have a panic attack at six am. I’ve been up for hours and I cannot find answers to my problems. It’s way past my bedtime. Every day the same through the hours. Watching time slowly slips away, into a new day. Over tired, wired. I no longer care and collapse into a ball sobbing;…

Umbilical Update #18 / Endo Update #1

Things have not been the same since I had that blogging break. Lockdown loneliness got to me; boredom, poverty and the anxiety of waiting to start my new job. I was fed up of being single and was still dealing with mystery pains. It is now 2021 and my life has turned completely around in…

Lots of dreams about death

Over the last few weeks, during a period of intense happiness, I dream that SK’s Father and my first boyfriend die. I dream I am kidnapped twice, trapped in buildings, and I also dream that I kiss a boy I once sat next to in school, who repulsed me as he had terrible halitosis. Disturbing…

Bat in the Attic

On Monday I moved into the cottage. The timing could not have been better as simultaneously the Prime Minister announced the third national lockdown, however, Michelangelo and I had decided to become each other’s support bubble after our Christmas plans were cancelled due to the new strain of Corona virus (Covid 20?) My confidence has…

The dream that breaks my heart

It’s 03:03, it really is. I’ve been up since 02:21 and I felt this heaviness as it turned 02:22. ‘All the two.’s’ I said to myself and walked down the stairs. Lana Del Rey started singing and I remembered. ‘Happy Birthday Darling’ I whispered out to Uranus shining brightly at me from the small window.…

The dreams on clarithomycin

I have a reoccurring infection and I require surgery. After two years of investigations I am now back on antibiotics. They have an extremely unpleasant side effect of changing my sense of taste and making me nauseous. To combat this I take regular sips of water so perhaps this partly explains the dream – perhaps……