Things have not been the same since I had that blogging break. Lockdown loneliness got to me; boredom, poverty and the anxiety of waiting to start my new job. I was fed up of being single and was still dealing with mystery pains. It is now 2021 and my life has turned completely around in…
On Monday I moved into the cottage. The timing could not have been better as simultaneously the Prime Minister announced the third national lockdown, however, Michelangelo and I had decided to become each other’s support bubble after our Christmas plans were cancelled due to the new strain of Corona virus (Covid 20?) My confidence has…
I’m drunk. I needed to be drunk. I didn’t know why, maybe I’m stressed, maybe I’m bored? I don’t know. I look at photos from past holidays, I listen to my favourite music; I’m loving life. Podcast time, science stuff. My eyes close. Loving life. Theoretical physics, stuff I should remember from school but don’t.…
In the early hours of the morning I was promised a phone call by Marsh Mallo (some random bedroom DJ not the famous one). I tell him great things could happen if he calls me tomorrow. We laugh, yes, yes I will call he says. It’s now 22:33 and there won’t be a call. I…
I stand between the portal gateway, and, I say what is on my mind – I’m lonely. The darkness from my past threatens to pull me back, but, through the gates I go; into the unknown. I become used to limited contact, the half faces and no one encompassing my spaces. As always I choose…
I sank half a bottle of wine last night when I should’ve taken a sedative and I’ve woken up anxious. It’s all getting too much for me. My birthday looms and I’m hit with a sudden insecurity as my nephew returns to school and for the first September in my life I am (still) unemployed.…
It is 3pm on the friday of the last Bank Holiday Weekend of the year (excluding Christmas). This is a time of year I usually cover myself in body paint and glitter and dance under the sun, moon and stars at festivals and the Notting Hill Carnival. This time of year is booked annually for…
I wake feeling slightly better than yesterday but then the post-lady delivers me more bills to pay I have no milk and the longer I think my mood rapidly begins to sink Is this snakes and ladders I play? Always back at the start I stay never passing go on my merry-go-round never collecting 200…
The best parts of my character diminish before your very eyes the minute I talk about feelings. For all my intelligence, logic, rationale and reasoning I lose credibility within the first few sentences as no one and I mean no one likes to talk about feelings. I did not understand this phenomena until I discovered…
Today I will be busy looking for my split soles. I have ordered a new leotard and tights as I am returning to the Central School of Ballet. On Saturday whilst watching Ascot I was shocked to learn that I weigh considerably more than a racehorse. In fact, I probably weigh as much as the…
Fem Feelings 