White Isle Whispers

This is the third May that I stay home. To be fair this May and the last were during a lockdown so I couldn’t leave the country even if I wanted to, but still, being grounded and not visiting my favourite place takes it toll, and as we enter Gemini season I see how my…

Umbilical Update #18 / Endo Update #1

Things have not been the same since I had that blogging break. Lockdown loneliness got to me; boredom, poverty and the anxiety of waiting to start my new job. I was fed up of being single and was still dealing with mystery pains. It is now 2021 and my life has turned completely around in…

Lots of dreams about death

Over the last few weeks, during a period of intense happiness, I dream that SK’s Father and my first boyfriend die. I dream I am kidnapped twice, trapped in buildings, and I also dream that I kiss a boy I once sat next to in school, who repulsed me as he had terrible halitosis. Disturbing…

Midweek Madness

I’m drunk. I needed to be drunk. I didn’t know why, maybe I’m stressed, maybe I’m bored? I don’t know. I look at photos from past holidays, I listen to my favourite music; I’m loving life. Podcast time, science stuff. My eyes close. Loving life. Theoretical physics, stuff I should remember from school but don’t.…

International Men’s Day

Last month I took a break from blogging to help my local community interest company relaunch their website, create a newsletter and start up a virtual coffee club. I was delighted to be part of their creative endeavours and excited to be in charge of designing and writing for them. The company provide a befriending…

The dream that breaks my heart

It’s 03:03, it really is. I’ve been up since 02:21 and I felt this heaviness as it turned 02:22. ‘All the two.’s’ I said to myself and walked down the stairs. Lana Del Rey started singing and I remembered. ‘Happy Birthday Darling’ I whispered out to Uranus shining brightly at me from the small window.…

The dreams on clarithomycin

I have a reoccurring infection and I require surgery. After two years of investigations I am now back on antibiotics. They have an extremely unpleasant side effect of changing my sense of taste and making me nauseous. To combat this I take regular sips of water so perhaps this partly explains the dream – perhaps……

Fortitude

It’s my birthday weekend and although premature I’ll go ahead and say that this is going to be the worst birthday I’ve ever had. Hot embarrassing tears instantly appear but I’m not sad, I’m not upset just a little disappointed. These are the last days of my thirty-eighth year and I know the uphill struggle…

The dream after the last dream

I wake up for the second time disturbed by my dream. It’s very personal and I’m deciding whether to write it up or not when I begin to start analysing it in my head and Freud begins to question it not Jung. Jung asks me why my mother is always in the periphery of my…